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As we mentioned yesterday, this week's New Yorker features Tad Friend's profile of William Morris president Dave Wirtschafter and his "unorthodox" approach to his job, (i.e., he's loathe to attend parties and schmooze client while hunting for new ones to poach). And not since social scientists locked two junior agents from CAA and WMA in a glass tank with a Polaroid of Tom Cruise and took notes until one chewed through the other's colon has there been such an in-depth study of the agenting arts. In fact, the profile is so tightly packed with nuggets that we're going to pull quotes from the piece all week and present them devoid of any kind of context. Like this:

And one C.A.A. agent woos talent with the credo “I want to be your asshole,” or, when he’s in a more introspective frame of mind,“I want to be your bitch.”

Bonus: Today's top misspelling of "Dave Wirtschafter": Dave Wiltschafterer.