Defamer Club Report: Make Your Own Gossip: UPDATE
Assistants with debilitating hangovers make shitty tipsters (trust us, we've learned that one that hard way), so we're just going to have to imagine the celeb-infested orgy that took place at Prey last night.
at prey last night simon rex, justin timberlake, josh duhamel w/fergie. i saw about 10 paris look alikes. it was almost funny....don't ask me anything else. i'm too hungover and i don't remember details. you can make something funny up about how fergie and jt had a dance off or something and simon mc'd while josh stood pretty.
Sadly, the real Paris Hilton didn't show up, photograph her genitalia with her Sidekick, and then leave the phone unattended in a bathroom stall. But as long as we're using our imagination, we're going to close our eyes, smile, and picture exactly that.
UPDATE: A reader with a hangover of lesser severity checks in with another report of last night's action at Prey. But if you don't want the image of Jeremy Piven dry-humping in your head, you'd better not read what follows after the jump.
I was also at Prey last night, on the poor advice from a club-happy friend. The place stank like someone had taken a dump under one of the tables and none of the staff had been able to find it. Nonetheless, Hugh Hefner was there with his little army of bimbettes. I began to wonder whether they learn a special "Bunny Dance" when they are inducted into the fold, because they certainly do bounce more than the average girl.
Justin Timberlake was there, looking bored as hell. No Cameron. No dancing, sadly.
Also, interestingly, Jeremy Piven was there talking up some girl I didn't recognize. He was making nice out on the smoking porch, and then later getting a good dry hump/ass feel/ slow-dance-during-fast-song on the dance floor.
I was driven away by the stench by about 12:30, so I don't know whether they ended up copulating in the corner.
That's probably for the best. The dry-humping stuff has already exceeded our day's quota for disturbing imagery.
