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Sounds pretty sensational, doesn't it? But this is exactly why you have to click through to the actual story, not just read Drudge's headline, stare at his hypnotic siren, and succumb to the impulse to leap from your desk chair while making WOO WOO WOO noises.

Yes, the judge issued a warrant for Jackson's arrest after he failed to show up to court on time, which his lawyer attributed to a hospital visit for a "serious back problem." More troubling, however, will be the admission that Jackson was receiving the medically suspect "hot Crisco therapy" from a team of unlicensed child cancer patients. When that news breaks, Drudge can put up two sirens.

UPDATE: The pop star arriveth! (Finally. In pajamas.)