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· Our wee sense of decency wants to ignore this, but our sense of duty compells us to trumpet otherwise: BRUCE WILLIS AND LINDSAY LOHAN GROPE EACH OTHER! In case you were wondering, Willis is just shy of 50 and Lohan is 18, which means he's technically old enough to be her father. Twice. [Page Six]
· Is Britney Spears getting jealous of her husband, Kevin Federline? Now that K-Fed has graced the cover of details and we've come out of our lustful closets, sources say Britney is getting a bit insecure and protective of her man. [Lowdown]
· Brad Pitt's publicist bitch-slaps Star for outright lying. The mag was going to run a piece claiming that during re-shoots for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Brad and Angelina Jolie were laughing about his recent separation from Jennifer Aniston. Too bad those re-shoots haven't even happened yet. Also? This movie is going to make sooo much money. [Page Six]
· Marlon Brando: dead, but a child molester? [R&M (2nd item)]
· Jane Fonda, asserting that she truly is old, goes for hip-replacement surgery. [Scoop (2nd item)]