When we noted last week that Page Six seemed a little behind in their reportage, it seemed to have inadvertantly sparked a new phase in gossip columnist catfightery. The latest cage match:

March 4, Page Six: We hate to pat ourselves on the back, but PAGE SIX reported on Sunday that Gwyneth Paltrow had shown baby pictures to Brad Pitt at Bryan Lourd's pre- Oscar party. The Daily News shared that information with its readers yesterday. The Wall Street Journal waited until Wednesday to report what we did on Saturday: the controversy over having Antonio Banderas sing the Oscar-winning Best Song performed by Jorge Drexler in "The Motorcycle Diaries."

And then:

March 7, Lowdown: Never mind the erroneous scoop in Page Six 21/2 months ago that socialite Denise Rich had bought financier Teddy Forstmann's 145-foot yacht, Artful Dodger, for $11 million. Rich acknowledges that she never bought the boat though she told me: "I'm still considering it."

And then:

March 8, Page Six: Lloyd Grove not to be confused with "New York's hottest young gossip columnist," as Ben Widdicombe, his middle-age rival at the Daily News, is proclaimed should wait until we get something wrong before he tries to correct PAGE SIX. [...] Grove, who banned Paris Hilton from his column in a fit of self-righteousness, should add Denise and PAGE SIX to his list. Stick to what you know whatever that is.

And then:

March 9, Rush & Molloy: How odd that Paula Froelich called our colleague Ben Widdicombe "middle-aged" yesterday. Is it envy over Variety's story today on New York's young gossip columnists, which includes Ben and News alum Elisa Lipsky-Karasz but not her? P.S.: He's 34. Froelich will be 32 by the Day of the Dead. [Ed: Er, that article isn't running for a few weeks. Heh. Will P6 call them out on this ironic mistake?]

While this is all very amusing, we'd like to sincerely ask our beloved columnists to give it a rest. Please leave the meta-media fuckwit commentary to us; you just go back to reporting on the outside world, so we can continue lifting your items. Thank you.
Update: Gatecrasher called to say, "Why leave the party just when it's getting fun? Tell Grandpa Johnson I have a Valentine headed his way on Sunday." Sigh. We guess this means the shitting match isn't ending anytime soon.