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This week's edition of New York mag's Look Book assaults us with an introduction to Demetrise Washington, who prefers shopping at Jill Stuart over eating lunch. Demetrise works at a brokerage house, is reading Confessions of an Economic Hit Man, but she's not quite sure who Eliot Spitzer is. Before you think she's a complete anomaly of the finance world, remember — her hat is made from fox and was purchased in Midtown. After the jump, Intern Alexis grills copy editor Sam Frank, VH1 producer Raphael Rodriguez, and research assistant Jonas Oransky for the male perspective on Demetrise's style.

Sam Frank, copy editor, Gourmet, Vice, n+1

What's with the pelt around her neck? Is it a) part of her hat; b)part of her coat; c) its own entity; d) none of the above — Demetrise is actually a lioness.

See the putty on her face and neck? She s half made-up: Grizabella, touring company of Cats, World Bank edition. Featuring Bono as the Rum Tum Tugger and Paul Wolfowitz as Old Deuteronomy. No, no: Carly Fiorina s Grizabella, the WaPo said so. Demetrise is only in the touring company s touring company, Sudanese edition. James Wolfensohn as Andrew Lloyd Webber floats the Janjaweed loans.

How can we get Demetrise ready for spring?

For spring? Take off her fur.
For summer? Take off her skin.
For fall? Pleather, tofurkey, Practical Ethics.

What would happen if we introduced Demetrise to Peter Hain and Kathryn Carussi?

Stop me if you ve heard this one: In 1996, Jubal Brown ate red gelatin and cake icing, then projectile-vomited on Raoul Dufy s painting Harbor at Le Havre; later he puked blue on a MoMA Mondrian. Never made it to yellow.

Which is to say: I used to vomit most Mondays after elementary school. My mother took me to a homeopath, who cured me with sulfur, which I believe those quacks prescribe to the unclean. Not to say I ve never puked since. Whenever hungover, I do so every 20 minutes until at least 5 p.m. First food and drink, then green bile. And then, if I m lucky, dribs of reddest blood.

Which is to say: I m not quite sure. Something to do with sloughing off my stomach lining, puking blood on the Furtastic Three, and calling it conceptual. Perhaps a PETA tagline, or just a usage lesson from the lapsed-vegetarian copy editors of the world: "Fur is nauseous!" Paging Ingrid E. Newkirk!

What is she doing with her other hand?

Rubbing Eliot Spitzer s lucky bald spot. That guy s everywhere! And he s singing: "If you touch me/You ll understand what happiness is."


Raphael Rodriguez, Associate Producer, VH1

What's with the pelt around her neck? Is it a) part of her hat; b)part of her coat; c) its own entity; d) none of the above — Demetrise is actually a lioness.

Do you remember the movie Born Free? Well, I do. Elsa the Lion was so majestic and proud — and those cute little cubs! Ah, but then she died and the seven year old cuter version of myself bawled his little eyes out. This reminds me of that in a terrible, terrible way. It's like she's the dead lioness come to life, in the form of a trim Manhattanite. Elsa, you haunt my dreams, and I miss you.

I don't know, maybe it's intentional. Maybe Demetrise really enjoys that damn Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. So much so that she is angling for the part of Mistoffelees or Rum Tum Tugger. "Business Analyst" sounds like a temporary gig to me, anyway. She's a STAR, people!

How can we get Demetrise ready for spring?

First off, we'll need some dog shampoo. I like the kind that smells like strawberries. Once applied, scrub hard and make sure to get all the hidden areas; the nooks and crannies. Towel dry and brush through to make her nice and soft. Sometimes a hair dryer works too.
Maybe this spring we can take her to get a little trim as well. I know a guy in Miami who comes right to your door and has a nice selection of festive bows to complete the look.

What would happen if we introduced Demetrise to Peter Hain and Kathryn Carussi?

Oh no. No, no, no. This is just too much fur. It's like a trip to the Natural History Museum. A vintage fur jacket is cute enough, but this goes too far. Or does it? Maybe we should just embrace this. We should start walking around in fur masks; fur turtlenecks; fur vests and jackets; fur undies (thongs only); fur pants and socks; and top it all off with shoes made out of bear feet. It's like a Viking funeral come to life. I'll bring the torch.

What is she doing with her other hand?

In her other hand she's got a cute little hamster named Toby. Have you heard of him? She recently acquired him through some sort of website. Toby is light brown, about 6 ounces, and makes a great coin purse. He's in a better place now, kids, I swear.


Jonas Oransky, shady research assistant

What's with the pelt around her neck? Is it a) part of her hat; b)part of her coat; c) its own entity; d) none of the above — Demetrise is actually a lioness.

All I know is you ≠ too discreet to be American when your hat was once upon a time shrieking for its life.

No, not a lioness. A robber baron who makes her home where her heart is. Lowest Manhattan is indeed New York s most Parisian quartier, Ms. Washington. I m salivating as we speak remembering an A-grade place at Whitehall and Water where they just smother your corporate palate with the richest Camembert.

How can we get Demetrise ready for spring?

Let s reprioritize! Lay off the econ-chicklit and focus on job-related scandal. You can backorder recent NY mags, y know. Because I really don t think this ignorance is Spitz s PR bad: It would be tough for someone to try harder to inform everyone else that he exists.

Also, spend yr lunch breaks wisely! Even Carrie Bradshaw moved on from the distended stomach days when Vogue just fed her more than food did.

What would happen if we introduced Demetrise to Peter Hain and Kathryn Carussi?

They would probably prank call/drunk dial takeout orders into Red Bamboo, Angelica Kitchen, and Katie s Joint. Ox testicle comp te, anyone?

But what would they really do? Difficult to say; we should bring in David Brooks for this one. Seriously though, Alexis, how easy would this whole thing be if David Brooks would just take a few minutes out on Tuesdays?

What is she doing with her other hand?

Fumbling with I Can t Believe It s Not Butter lip ganache.

Wait, hold on a second! Do people have regular dermatologist appointments? I mean, my dentist is always wanting me to floss, but my skin doc isn t a scolder. He just freeze dries my warts, and then tells me I can pull up my BVDs. No, but Jeezus, Demetrise, please don t front like you re too lo-fi for eyeshadow if your dermy is always on your case about upgrading from La Mer.

Okay fine, my dentist is a tight-ass. Semi-annually it s always the same thing: Could you take it easy on your gums and keep the blow up in your nostrils?! And every time I promise. But then I break down; it just makes the party that much harder.