Earlier, I had confessed my secret desire to run my tongue along the stubble of Mr. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline. But now there's a new debate:

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Mischa and Brandon celebrate their one year anniversary! How cute. Blahhhh. Let's sprinkle them with rose petals and finely pureed cocaine.

I have to be honest. Brutally honest... If I were hog-tied to my four poster bed and made to chose between K. Fed and Brandon Davis, and it were a matter of life and death... I would have to chose Kev.

Wait! Before your gag reflex kicks in and you run for my 24k gold toilet, listen. Brandon always appears to be high. And drooling. And he has mutton chops. Can't he cut his hair? I see the outline of man boobs. His face is puffy. Wasn't he working at the Imperial Palace as an Elvis (the late years) impersonator?

I'm sorry Mischa! I don't mean to come down so hard on your guy. But come on, tell me, he slobbers when he kisses you, doesn't he?

Mischa And The Man Boobs [Conversations About Famous People]