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Take your morning constitutional through the weekend box office numbers.

1. The Pacifier—$30.2 million
Now that Vin Diesel's shocked the world and demonstrated his surprising box office clout, he may actually get that eleventy billion dollars to make Hannibal—but only if Hannibal crosses the Alps with a caravan of ducks and a couple of cute, wise-cracking kids.

2. Be Cool—$23.5 million
Sometimes we even amaze ourselves with the accuracy of our box office projections. On Friday, we wrote, "Yes, we’re probably going to see it, and almost definitely going to be disappointed." We saw it, and guess what? After about twenty minutes, we became completely distracted thinking about how much more fun Vin Diesel and Gary the Duck were having in the next theater. And we can't say for sure, but we think that John Travolta's head was a different size in every scene.

3. Hitch—$12.5 million
Oh, Will Smith, we were just kidding! You're still the most adorable thing we've ever seen! If we were the schlubby dating client played by Kevin James, we wouldn't have let things stop with an awkward, ass-puckering kiss on the lips. Yes, we're talking about some awkward, romantic comedy junk-play.

4. Diary of a Mad Black Woman—$12 million
You're simply not going to get the best of Will Smith two weekends in a row. The Gay Mafia has seen to that.

5. Million Dollar Baby—$8.5 million
Why isn't anyone talking about where Clint Eastwood is vacationing?