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We feel confident in naming this the press release of the week on a Thursday, knowing that it's going to take an HBO announcement that March 6th is "Cocksucker Day" in honor of Deadwood's premiere to top this:

Showtime Turns March 7 Into 'Fat Monday' With a Host of Detectible Programs Anchored by Kirstie Alley's 'Fat Actress'

LOS ANGELES, March 2 /PRNewswire/ — Consumers with an appetite for great programming are in for a delicious treat. SHOWTIME is dubbing March 7 "FAT MONDAY" with a whole block of food-related shows featuring the much anticipated premiere of Kirstie Alley's FAT ACTRESS.

We're a little disappointed that they went with such a facile tie-in promotion, but we suppose that trying to find an entire day's worth of programming centered around a Scientologist desperate to breathe life into a flagging career would be a lot more difficult—Dharma and Greg reruns are way out of Showtime's budget.

[Also, we're pretty sure that they meant "delectable," not "detectible," in the headline.]

This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

scientologists take rush & molloy hostage/a> [Defamer]