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There's nothing like a smart subject header to get our attention. (When a fellow once sent us a message with the subject, "Victor Coen's Kinky Secret," everyone freaked out just enough to not immediately hit delete. Turns out the email was about a Women's Wear Daily piece.) So when something came our way screaming about "USHER'S ABS AND ANGELINA'S ARMS," we had to read what followed:

*IT'S ALL SHINY AND NEW *

Oooh, we like shiny, new things (conversely, we hate old ladies wearing matte lipstick). What wondrous wonders could this magical press release contain?

*VH1 Premieres For The Week Of March 4-March 10 2005*

Oh. Boring.

*VH1 AND SELF MAGAZINE HAVE "100 MOST WANTED BODIES"*

Wait — that sounds really shallow. This might be interesting.

*Premiering Monday, March 7-Friday, March 11 at 10PM*

VH1 and Self Magazine Countdown the "100 Most Wanted Bodies"

VH1 and Self Magazine have got 100 good reasons for you to hit the gym. They're tight. They're toned. And they're terrifically sexy. They're* "VH1 and Self Magazine's 100 Most Wanted Bodies."*

Premiering Monday March 7th to Friday March 11th 10 p.m.

This 5-hour special will count down the buffest and the most bodacious bodies in sports, fashion, music, movies and television. Whether it's Usher's abs, Angelina's arms or J. Lo's rear view you won't find a healthier collection of heavenly bodies anywhere.

This ultimate fitness countdown will combine diet and fitness secrets from the stars themselves and exclusive interviews with our panel of celebrity fitness and nutrition experts. We'll reveal how these bodies got hot and how they stay that way.

Awesome! We love us some celebrity torso scrutiny. And then, later in the press release, towards the veryveryvery bottom, there s some serious promo paragraph about a Blaxploitation special. FYI.