This image was lost some time after publication.

It took us days to finally push thoughts of Marcia Cross, Teri Hatcher, and Eva Longoria wrapped in the ultimate Desperate Housewives subplot (not to get too graphic here, but it involved a borrowed cup of flour, a Costco-sized tub of baby oil, and tiny-to-the-point-of-impracticality aprons), but then we got this glimpse of the Advocate cover that had originally kicked off the rumor binge, and we're forced to ponder Cross's sexual preference anew. Moving at the speed of magazine-light (and, we suspect, cheating by using a time machine), the Advocate has managed to splash a story about the rumor about Cross coming out in their pages on the cover of the very same issue that supposedly contained the story that spawned the rumor. Yes, we have a headache. And please, don't even consider the possibility that a savvy viral marketer from the Advocate planted the original rumor at the Data Lounge, lest your brain leak out of your ear.

Oh, by the way: Cross doesn't come out in the issue. But you knew that already.