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· Because prison food lacks that bourgeoisie charm, Martha Stewart has hired Le Cirque chef Pierre Schaedelin to usher her back into the real world of proper dining. Once Stewart is released from her sparkling cell and put on house arrest, Schaedelin will assume the responsibility of preparing all of her perfectperfectperfect meals. [Page Six]
· As J-Lo is discovering, being a singer is tough when everyone wants the same pre-fabricated songs. [Fox411]
· Joan Rivers fights back: when E! executive Jeff Shore said his channel's red carpet coverage was kicking Rivers' ass (which currently resides on the TV Guide network), Rivers responded with a handful of Nielsen numbers and three additional face-lifts. [R&M (3rd item)]
· After a marriage full of stabbings, Christian Slater and Ryan Haddon are finally filing for divorce. Haddon once caught Slater having has back shaved by topless strippers — oddly enough, it took her 2 years after the fact to call it quits. [Page Six]
· Jerome Corsi, the author of the anti-Kerry tome Unfit For Command gets a smackdown from, um, a bunch of democratic assistants. Sigh. C'mon, guys. [Lowdown]
· Eva Mendes: the perfect choice for when you don't know whether to cast a black or white woman opposite Will Smith. [Scoop]