Text shown actual size, which is equal to whatever font you used to squeeze an extra page out of your 8th grade book report.

Brad & Jen, the insta-book from US Weekly, hit the streets on Friday and, in a rare moment of sincerity, we are simply amazed. Never before has a trade paperback contained such brilliant manipulations of language; Derrida could have a field day with authors Mara Reinstein and Joey Bartolomeo. We are thus compelled to institute another series of Book Club readings, in which we blindly open the book to any page and pick a passage at random. Today, a glimpse into the early days of "Hollywood's Golden Couple," from page 18:

For months, Pitt and Aniston kept their relationship on the DL, as they usually spent their nights indoors, watching TV, eating Mexican food, and playing poker (in a stroke of good luck, neither one at the time had to do the PR rounds to promote any new projects). Their private romance, however, became an open secret when they were photographed nuzzling backstage at the Washington D.C. Tibetan Freedom Concert in 1998. That photo was reprinted around the world, much to the glee of their worshipful fans. Aniston's reaction? "Oy! You just think, 'Here we go.'"

This concludes your moment of tearful nostalgia.