For those of you at 4 Times Square who were hoping for one of those House & Gardenburger deluxes or some piping hot New Yorker clam chowder, think again. A tipster sent us this memo:

This morning, a small stovetop fire activated the sprinkler system in the kitchen area of the 4 Times Square Cafeteria. As a result, the lunch menu today will be limited to cold food including sandwiches, antipasti and chopped salad. We anticipate that hot-food service will resume tomorrow. Our apologies for any inconvenience.

Well, there's always the frozen Vogueurt.

(What? Like you're so damn funny! Go read Borowitz if you want a hearty laugh, jerk. Yeah, we thought so!)