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Sunday's LAT profiled "Jay the Writer" (and yes, we realize that we're quoted in the story—obsessively Googling ourselves sometimes turns up nuggets unrelated to Linday Lohan's breasts), the adorably deluded, aspiring screenwriter who's spent "$75,000 to $100,000" trying to find out if renting billboard space near studios makes him seem like a genius of self-promotion or, in the words of one nameless agent, "retarded":

"The idea that anyone would waste that kind of money doing something so retarded, that shows me they know so little about the business that I wouldn't be interested in looking at their stuff," says one A-list agent, speaking on condition of anonymity. "If that's the best you can come up with, then you're not very smart."

It's gotta hurt when an agent questions your intelligence, but we bet he's merely throwing up a smokescreen so he can sign the guy, trying to generate some buzz by shopping around a spec script written by the hot, retarded writer he just discovered in the LA Times. As we all know, retards are huge right now.