Hummer Recall Threatens Public Displays Of Male Inadequacy
General Motors has issued a recall for 193,000 vehicles because of "safety defects," including our city's most ubiquitous symbol of inadequate male genitalia, the Hummer H2:
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said the recalls included one covering 155,465 pickup trucks, sport utility vehicles and vans that may suffer hydraulic fluid leaks, causing increased steering and braking effort and potential crashes.
The optimist in us wants to believe that after a handful of grisly deaths resulting from braking-impaired Hummers crashing through Rodeo Drive storefronts, actors and agents overcompensating for too many encounters involving the phrase "Is that it?" will finally abandon their lane-clogging monsters for Priuses. But we know that it's far more likely that when they get around to turning in their Hummers, they're going to ask car dealers to put them into something that really makes them forget about their three-inchers.
