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Residents of Los Angeles, let us introduce you to Paradise Ranch, a local pet-pampering resort "so exclusive, it doesn't accept people." The Ranch will pick up your delightfully spoiled pup in the Mercedes Mutt Cab (pictured at right), a vehicle exclusively for ferrying the shih-tzu in your life to and from this canine Xanadu in air-conditioned comfort, with nary a rolled-up newspaper in sight to mete out punishment for pooping on the seat. Really, we could get lost for days on their website, but make sure your visit includes the "boarding" page, where the Ranch cheerily declares, "We sleep with dogs." Does the pampering ever stop?

But is all the Ranch's conspicuous luxury a way to make you forget that little Muffie will be getting her pedicures in the dangerously unfashionable Valley? Pshaw. Your toy poodle will hardly roll its eyes at the 818 area code, knowing full well that your Alzheimer's-afflicted mother is being force-fed bland tapioca in far less fabulous accommodations on the other side of the hill.