We asked, you guessed. Your fun, possibly-libelous answers after the jump.

What tireless party boy was once caught getting fucked on all fours in the bathroom at a house party when everyone else had wrapped up their socializing and the hostess was announcing, "Party's over!"?

You sez:
 - Mr. "fucking on all fours" has annoying it boy, Fabian written all over it.
- Jonathan Cheban
- What kind of hostess announces "Party's over!"?? (A: a bad one.)

What '80s teen star works the autograph circuit, posing nude for old men for $50 so he can grab his next batch of crack?

You sez:
 - Clearly Kirk Cameron. What a cocksucker.
- Absolutely HAS to be "outsider" C. Thomas Howell.
- Ralph Macchio or Chad Allen
- Corey Haim. is he even still alive?

What ailing legend, despite his public image, is a real dick and took graft for years, by the way?

You sez:
 - what the fuck is graft?
- I was unfortunate enough to work in L.A. for Dick ("The Prick") Clark for a single episode of one of his shows & can vouch for his horrific, tyrannical off-camera demeanor to his staff. It's the most carefully concealed Jekyll/Hyde persona in the biz
- I have it on good authority that Bill Cosby is one of the meanest men to work with in Hollywood. Which is frankly why I almost believe the harassment charges that have come about in recent weeks against him. If his tv face is so different from his tiny, black-moustached one, who knows what kind gellatinous substances he's sticking his dick into?
- Pope John Paul II. (Dude, that was cold. Table for one in Eternal Damnation—no waiting! - Ed.)

What columnist fulminates against teen single mothers, but doesn't always blare the fact that she once was one herself?

You sez:
 - Michelle Malkin
- Dr. Laura. Isn t this old news?
- Please let the columnist who was once a teen mother be that harridan Kathleen Parker! That would be so excellent!

What cute gay writer has a profile on bigmuscle.com and specifies that he's "smart, but with a well-developed fantasy shadow side"? (Though one person who took him up on it claims the experience was rather vanilla picky, picky.)

You sez:
 - It states "cute" but i'm gonna say Andrew Sullivan anyway) (Me-ow! The claws are coming way the fuck out today, folks! Ed)
- Augusten Burrourghs?
- Dale Peck?
- Brad Gooch. This one I know for sure. I've seen his profile, pics and all. Also, chatted with him a bit on the bigmuscle site.
- Michael Musto