'The Onion': What's That Smell? Love in the Air
You know it's almost Valentine's Day when even the icy wits at The Onion go all soft and mushy and offer an "all-expenses paid trip to the abortion clinic of the bearer's choice."
Check out The Onion's Love Coupons, which will make you happy to be alone and depressed again this year. Now, if only your damn mother would lay off. You're not a spinster, you're just particular. Besides, you don't want to end up like your sister who had that big wedding (with all those foot-tall desserts!) and is now divorced before 29. Man, she looks like a trauma survivor: you half expect her to scream "Red Rum" every time she opens her mouth.
What? Oh, The Onion Love Coupons. Go now.
