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· More speculation on which Desperate Housewife is coming out on the cover of The Advocate. In the immortal, grating words of Jan Brady, "Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"[Google News; Gatecrasher]

· Publishing pitbull Judith Regan accuses one of her ghost writers—who helped pen the memoir of Strom Thurmond s illegitimate black daughter—of being obsessed with hookers, which he denies. Did she also accuse him of making love to hookers in an apartment overlooking Ground Zero? [Page Six]

· President Bush grabs ass in God's house. Says the Almighty told him to do it. [R&M]

· Dr. Huxtable says: "Take two roofies and call me in the morning!"[NYDN]