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Good morning, class (and I use that term in the loosest possible sense). As you know, Miss Coen will be out this week. Your substitute Gawker will be Noelle Hancock. You can call her Noelle, or Miss H., or Miss Hancock, or, if you're really tired and you didn't have your government issued breakfast this morning, you might slip up and call her mommy. And, yes, we know her last name sounds sort of dirty: you're so, so clever.

I expect all of you to be respectful to Miss Hancock during her time here. Her background is in journalism, not blogging, so I ask that you be tolerant of any little glitches or slip-ups that may occur in the next few days. She's not here to replace Miss Coen (whom I know you all love very much), but she can be a good friend and help you learn a lot this week. I hope you'll join me in making her feel welcome.

If you're all good, we can have a pizza party on Friday when Miss Coen comes back. Miss Coen has promised to pay.