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On The Times' op-ed page today, Daily Show with Jon Stewart writer Tim Carvell imagines what the NFL might've suggested to Sir Paul McCartney for his Superbowl halftime show. The NFL's taking no chances, according to Carvell:

"I Saw Her Standing There": "Well, she was just 17, you know what I mean"? I am fairly certain that I do not know what you mean, but I do know that she'd better be at least 18. Make that 21. Or 25. She was just 25. That works fine.

Sorry to circle back to this, but we've been thinking more about your outfit. Maybe you could wear both the extra underpants and the sweater and extra pants? You know, just to be safe? Also: Some of us are a bit worried about the hip motions while you're dancing. They seem a tad suggestive. Could you maybe dance without moving your hips? Or your feet? You may, of course, continue to use your arms.


That works. Now he's clean. Oh yes, he's very clean, you know.
Sir Paul's Playbook [NYT]
Superbowl.com [official site]
A Hard Day's Night script [Classic Movie Scripts]
[A Hard Day's Night pic via Yahoo]