· You know you want to know who, exactly, are the Hustlers of Hip. No? Too bad: they include Freeman's owner Taavo Somer, American Apparel masturbator Dov Charney, and our favorite crackheads behind Vice magazine. We don't get it, either. [Style.com]
· With the Platinum Metrocard, you needn't ever worry about losing your ticket in a fire. Even better: "Every dollar you spend is a mile earned, redeemable for tissues and gum." [Banterist]
· Does the fine collection of "Grand Theft Auto" video games leave you feeling unsatisfyingly handjobbed? No need to switch to ol' fashioned internet porn just yet. "Playboy: The Mansion" is now available for those of you who just aren't ready for human contact. [Playboy: The Mansion]
· Set your TiVos, America! Katie Couric will be talking about teens and sex on racy NBC at the naughty 10 o'clock hour. We can't wait to hear her cheerfully explain "friends with benefits." [AP]
· We have to break our promise; there's no way in hell we're going to read that Cheban article closely enough to give you an analysis. And, frankly, we'd never want to cause you that sort of pain anyhow. [WaPo]