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The City Department of Health has released the results of a ground-breaking study, from which we can learn only one thing: we love to binge drink. No, no, don't get defensive from atop your moral high horse, you silly alcoholic. If you're a New Yorker, you obviously drink too much, and by "too much" we mean "more than one or two drinks per day for men and one for women." And, if you live in Greenwich Village or Chelsea, you've got a real problem, as 32% of excessive drinkers are slumming on Bleecker or 23rd (don't worry, lower Manhattan still clocks in with a healthy 22.1%). Are you white? Do you have a disposable income? Then you're an excessive drinker, too, buddy. Don't kid yourself: you're just in the early stages of denial.

I'm sending you this message, of course, from a crisp, white, Bloomberg-sanctioned facility, where I'm having my stomach pumped because of that single glass of red wine I had last night. I'm soo fucked up.
Raising A Glass In Manhattan. Actually Lots Of Them [NYT]
Most New Yorkers... [NYCDH via Nuggets]