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Great news for Dennis Quaid, his wife, and the rest of New York's strip club patronage: a new place is coming to town for beautiful (yet slightly misshapen) breasts to be bared. Rick's Cabaret, a chain of "classy" pole-dancing havens in New Orleans and Houston, will be opening in a 33rd street location formerly housing the Paradise, courtesy of Texas businessman Eric S. Langan.

Another day, another strip joint. No big deal, right? Wrong. The news has resulted in a rare and dangerous brain malfunction for Times reporter Michael Brick, which causes him to write only in his best (and rather painful) southern drawl. This painful mental condition forces him to employ cryptic southern colloquialisms like "had designs," and we hear Brick has been showing up to the office drunk and dressed like Tennessee Williams. If someone doesn't intervene, we suspect he might start throwing mint juleps at Bill Keller. Tragic, indeed.
Moving In On New York Laps [NYT]