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You might think that Viacom co-president/glam future world despot Les Moonves might be momentarily chastened by the CBS News Memogate scandal. Do we have to say it? You'd be wrong. You don't get to the brink of seizing control of all you survey by cowering when cornered. No, when you're a big swingin' dick like Moonves and things get hot, you slap your rivals in the face with your member. This time, NBC golden-boy-on-the-ropes Jeff Zucker catches it in the face as Moonves notes that the Paramount TV part of his empire is producing NBC's promising Medium:

"So not only am I scheduling CBS and UPN (yet another Viacom property), but I'm helping NBC, as well," Moonves said. "So I'm very pleased to take (NBC chief) Jeff Zucker's calls when he wants advice on how to program his network."

Understand, the TV business is cutthroat competitive, but heads of networks don't generally call each other out by name, which explains the sea of "whoas" that preceded the eventual laughter in the room.

"Come on, come on," Moonves said. "Let's have a little fun here."

With a devilish twinkle in his eye, Moonves dialed his cellphone. "Voicemail," he said to his audience before continuing. "Jeff? Moonves here. Sorry I missed you, but I just wanted you to know that my son is growing in your wife's belly. Have a good one, sport!" With that, Moonves hung up and flashed a conspiratorial smile to the assembled press. "Oh, don't look so shocked. That will be better news than Joey's Nielsens this week."