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After some SNL lip-syncing and a notoriously bad Orange Bowl performance, Ren e Graham at the Boston Globe blesses us all with a lengthy analysis of the "alarmingly untalented" Ashlee Simpson and her remarkably creepy father, Joe Simpson. A sampling:

·...Why does Joe Simpson insist on repeatedly tossing his youngest child to the wolves?

·That [Ashlee] didn't have a lick of talent was instantly apparent, but there was her father encouraging her to sing songs in various ways.

·Last summer, I saw Ashlee perform on the second stage at the KISS concert, and she was so awful, yelping her fake little punky songs, I thought it was a jokey stunt. She made Britney Spears sound like Aretha Franklin.

·Behind all this is Joe Simpson, a former Baptist minister who gave up his calling to pimp out his daughters as pop stars.

·Is your flesh crawling yet?

·All poor Ashlee has is a father pushing too hard and too fast.

·If he's conning the public, it's nothing compared to what he's doing to his misguided daughter, who thinks herself a pop star when she's little more than a bad joke.

And those are the nice bits.
Related: "For anybody that would like to see Ashlee Simpson disappear from the music industry, please sign the petition below..."

Ashlee Simpson's Career Comes Courtesy Of Daddy Dearest [Boston.com]