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Maybe we're still a bit fuzzy-headed after too much cheap New Year's champagne (we had no idea you could buy champers in a box!), but we've been trying to figure out what—if anything—David Brooks was trying to say in his Jan. 1, 2005 column in The Times.

Honestly, we've read it three or four times and all we can come up with is "Guh?" We think it has something to do with the Bible and The Lion King, how environmentalism is naive and how liberals (who are descendants of Thoreau or something) are stupid. Or that humans are gnats. Or... Seriously, we're completely lost and the piece is under 800 words.

Here's where you come in. Dear readers, please follow the link to Brooks' column and give it a read. If you can make heads or tails of it, send us an email explaining it in one paragraph. The most cogent explanation will be posted later today. As will the most insane. Good luck and godspeed.
A Time to Mourn [NYT]