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Page Six reports that Viacom co-president/generously betoothed future despot Les Moonves has snatched up girlfriend Julie Chen from the set of The Early Show and taken her to Mexico, where he will in short order make her the first member of his galactic harem. After Moonves weds Chen, he's in a great position to sweep up through the Baja Peninsula, looting every town from Cabo to Los Angeles and seizing additional war brides from the newly subjugated population. We must applaud this strategic masterstroke and will beg for mercy when the invasion reaches LA's east side.

[This is terrible news for Moonves' ex-wife, Nancy, who will now have to further limit her gastronomic options by swearing off Mexican food.]

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