Oops, maybe we should stop reading the real news first and read the gossip columns FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, 'cause we totally missed the anti-Paris boat, as built by the Daily News' Lloyd Grove. While we're busy posting random pictures of her (at the Jeremy Scott show, we've been informed) that we find amusing, Grove is on the Today Show declaring he shall never again write about our favorite heiress. His column today includes a thorough list of Paris' crimes against humanity, including (but by no means limited to):

· While others suffer the consequences of their bad behavior, Paris just skates
· She doesn't just strain credulity, she herniates it
· Her sense of entitlement knows no bounds
· She's proud to be snobbish
· She's a bad tipper
· She's shameless

That's a bold little column there, Lloyd, but can you really stay away? We give you two months of Paris abstinence, and then you'll come crawling back to her uncovered vagina. We all do.
Lowdown [NYDN]
Lloyd Grove Goes Cold Turkey On Paris Hilton [Defamer]