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It wouldn't be the holidays if we didn't remind you how poor you are or, more specifically, of your cramped and congested Manhattan life. As such, direct your attention to the 18-room Yonkers castle purchased by art historian Kohle Yohannan for a mere $469,000. Yohannan has invested more than $750K to renovate the dilapidated manse and is finally showing off its features (including a silk-draped Turkish sitting room—because, you know, castles in Yonkers naturally evoke the magic of Istanbul).

Oh, and in case you had an questions regarding which team Kohle Yohannan is playing for (Is he single? And can we fuck him on that zebra-skin rug in his big fat castle?), we should note that he was once married to professional beard and celebrated 70s fashion designer Mary McFadden.
Gothic Revival In Yonkers [NYT]