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It's Friday! Woo-hoo! In a few hours (patience, patience) it'll be time to take this job and shove it! (For the weekend... Before returning for another soul crushing week.) Tonight, you are gonna party so hard! Don't forget to drink a few alcopops!

"Alco-what now?" Alcopops, man! You know, "sweet-flavored malt beverages, [that] are being used by liquor companies as gateway beverages to attract underage girls to drinking," according to The American Medical Association. Alcopops!

Apparently this is the new term for "girlie drinks," and, well, they're, like, a totally major threat to young girls now, right up there with sex bracelets and Rick Salomon. (Don't believe us? Check out the Girlie Drinks Poster, right.)

This could be the worst thing ever! I mean, if we are to believe all the articles that recycled the AMA's news release, that is.

If you're a parent and you're not totally freaked out about this, you might as well give your teenager the Fisher Price "My First Heroin Rig" for Christmas, because you are a walking nightmare of depravity.
"Alcopop" marketing spikes drinking in teen girls [AMA]
Girlie Drinks Poster [PDF, via AMA]
AMA Concerned About Teens, Sweet Alcohol [Newsday]