We weren't trying to be mean by covering Wenner Media's holiday soiree, but apparently we're taunting those poor US Weekly staffers who were denied the right to listen to Maroon 5. A reader writes:

How cruel to publish pictures of the party those chained to their desks at US were forced to miss, in lieu of spending the wee hours cranking out quality....um....sidebars.

I write to assuage your concern that no one from US had the chance to witness the veritable Yalta conference that must have resulted from Tim Robbins conversing with Anne Coulter.

A few of the more industrious peons did manage to have beat the system, stuffing their Club Monaco sweaters with empty Cheeto bags (collected on assignment outside Britney's hotel room) to simulate actual bodies at their cubicles. A quick trip to the open bar and they returned refreshed and slightly warmer from the inside, though I doubt it was enough to have any effect on the icy grip Wenner Media has on their pour souls.

It's like the US Weekly Min-ions© are all little Tiny Tims, too crippled to hobnob with Ann Coulter.