We're not happy to tell you this, but there are breaking reports of a frightening new audio recording released on the internet. But it's our job to report these things, even when we're cowering under our desks in fear of another attack by the people who've made our lives a waking nightmare of fear these last few years.

We are speaking, of course, of the new Lindsay Lohan Freestyle song. Listen to this at your peril. (And with headphones, if you're at work.)

On a related note: Lindsay Lohan is much more than some "big ass titties." She's also got a sweet, sweet ass.

Oh, and Osama Bin Laden has a tape out, too. No mention of titties, big ass or otherwise. Danger Mouse remix, TK.
Big Ass Titties [Lohan Freestyle]
Purported new bin Laden tape criticizes Saudi royals [CNN]