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Allow us for a moment to take a break from the star-fuckery and relentless snark that characterizes our usual posts so that we might write something—dare we say it?—earnest.

We were on an uptown Q train pulling into Times Square at around 12:45 PM yesterday when a young woman began screaming that she was having a heart attack. After a second of ignoring her (the entire car had just tuned out the guy singing "Feliz Navidad", and you know how it is when someone starts shouting in a train), we and several other good (or halfway decent) samaritans rushed over to her.

She was obviously in distress, saying her whole body hurt and that she was dying. We stopped the train and flagged down the conductor who radioed for assistance. We lingered around as a few transit workers helped her, but after a little while, we left.

So, if you are the person above (or you are friends with the person above) can you email us and tell us that everything is okay? We just wanna know that you got the help you needed and you're recovering. And if you're the older woman with the Lloyd Webber score who kept interrupting the efforts to ask the conductor how you could get to 49th Street now despite the young woman lying on the floor, writhing in pain, shame on you.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled cruelty and schadenfreude.