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· A week after exposing reality television producers as script-happy charlatans, Joel Stein goes deep inside Hollywood's secret holiday gift-giving protocols. You will never be able to see the letters VVIP again without a chill running down your spine. Trust us.
· LA.comfidential catches the very underage Mischa Barton getting shitfaced at the Flaunt party on Friday night. We're shocked—shocked!—that Barton could manage to get drunk at a party in Beverly Hills. Come on, we're not talking about a criminal genius like Lindsay Lohan here.
· And while we're invoking the name of Lohan, she popped in to "Weekend Update" to once again assure the world that her chest is real. Somewhere, there exists a publicist-drawn battle plan entitled. "Re-Educating the World About Lindsay Lohan's Absolutely Natural Breasts," and there's a check next to the action item, "Enlist Mean Girls co-stars Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in mammary damage-control efforts."
· Rhetorical question: What the fuck is wrong with people?