Henry the Intern came away from last night's "Topic [A]" with two lessons: 1) The show would be exponentially more beneficial to society if Tina simply monologued for an hour; and 2) Tina's favorite expression is, "I love it." Henry lost count of her "love" usage, but let's just say last night's episode was a letdown from last week's high. His report after the jump.

Dominick Dunne returned with an "insider's take" on the trial between Michael Eisner and Michael Ovitz — "this incredible smack down," as Tina called it. Dunne, who is covering the trial for Vanity Fair, enjoys the "French farce" of it all —he called Ovitz's testimony "like a one-man show on Broadway," filled with charm— and said, "there is no winner here, they're two losers."

"Alexander" director Oliver Stone disagreed with Tina that Alexander was "an early neo-con": "I don't think that's correct. In those days, war was an honorable profession. . . Alexander never slaughtered people unless there was a specific military risk." Stone sees Alexander as "the ultimate Greek," a perfect blend of masculinity and vulnerability.

Roya Hakakian, author of Journey from the Land of No, a book about growing up in Iran, described her experiences and the hopes of Iranian women today, who are pushing their veils down instead of over their faces. "I loved it," Tina said twice of the book.

Jerry Weintraub, producer of "Ocean's Twelve," gushed about the camaraderie on the set: "They're all friends, off screen and on," even Catherine Zeta-Jones "is really one of the guys, as is Julia [Roberts]." Tina translated the gang as the "on-going rat pack."

The editor's desk roundtable —taped with last week's panelists— filibustered the remaining twenty minutes. In the first of the "Best of 2004" series, the panelists zeroed-in on DVDSs:

Jesse Kornbluth, HeadButler.com: "The Snowman." Tina: "I love it... the soundtrack is just magic."
Peter Bart, Variety: both "Spider-man" films
Brad Gooch, author: "Saved"
Lola Ogunnaike, The New York Times: "The Golden Girls, Season 1." Ogunnaike: "The funniest women on the face of the earth... 'Sex and the City' owes a debt to those ladies." Tina: "I've never seen it."
Tina recommended "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" for R.Kelly, "Internal Affairs" for Kofi Annan, and raved about "Orange County": "I thought it was hysterical, and I've since played it five times."

Hot picks of the week:
Kornbluth: "South Park"
Bart: "The Aviator"
Ogunnaike: "24, Season 2." Tina: "I love it, too!"
Googh: Savannah College of Art & Design, the largest art college in America. Tina: "I love knowing about that, it's great." (Indeed, a refreshing pick.)
Tina: The Complete Cartoons of The New Yorker, which doesn't include her favorite: "No, Thursday's out. How about never — is never good for you?"

Closing quote by Alfred Hitchcock: "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."

My quote of the week comes from a C-SPAN viewer who commented on "Topic [A]" panel members: "The people on the show, it's like they're from Mars! I don't know where they're from!" Guest Tom Wolfe let it slide off his white suit like a true gentleman.