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Monday marks one year since Saddam Hussein was captured in his so-called spider-hole outside of Tikrit. (Really, if the people who called it that lived in New York, they'd know we call spaces like that "decent Williamsburg apartments.")

Since the old guy's been held in captivity, he's missed out on a lot of the major events that shaped our world this year. Since we're afraid that he might've forgotten exactly why he hated America so darned much, we put together this little primer especially for Saddam. We were gonna call it "What, Have You Been Living Under a Rock?" but then we weren't sure if it would be funnier to make a pun of "Iraq" or if the whole thing was just completely lame. Then we went ahead with it!

So, put on your copy of Tom Tom Club's "Genius Of Love" ("What'cha gonna do when you get out of jail? I'm gonna have some fun!") and enjoy this little non-chronological look back, Mr. Hussein.

·Britney Spears and Nicky Hilton got married in Vegas. They both got divorced.
·But! Britney got married again, and as of press time, she's still, like, totally married!
·Michael Wolff moved to Vanity Fair, which is why you can no longer read him online.
·Lindsay Lohan got really stacked.
·Bill Murray—robbed on Oscar night.
·Sex and the City ended, and that uptight redhead? She's now a lesbian.
·Scarlett Johansson made out with Benicio Del Toro. Gross, right?
·Bloggers got agents!
·Mike Wallace was briefly public enemy number one.
·Tara Reid's whole tit fell out, Seriously: the whole thing.
·Bush won a second term. Yeah, we're just as pissed as you are.

That's about it, dude. Oh, and Lost is really good: You should try to catch it.