Christmas Early Again: Reuters Trims Tree, Jobs
According to Reuters, a company called Reuters (wait, what?) laid off about 100 people today.
With a tip of our hat to our Tina-whisperer sister site, we decided to give the internal Reuter's lay-offs memo the old two column treatment.
| Text | Subtext |
| This has been a long and difficult budget process, made complex because we as a company want to be very sure that actions we take in this last year of Fast Forward position us very well for 2006 and beyond. | Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. |
| Job losses are never easy to announce or deal with as we see the impact on colleagues and friends. | They are, however, slightly easier to announce when you rely on platitudes. |
| We remain committed to being the world's premier news agency and will continue to rely on the skills of our reporting and editing network to keep us number one. | Please be prepared to work twice as hard. Oh, and Merry Christmas. |
| Some of the cuts we will make will be as a result of our migrating work to another location and thus maintaining or improving our service to customers. But the majority of cuts will be from two other areas: as a result of our putting more emphasis on coverage from central, hub locations where we can build up specialization and expertise and as a result of decisions by our specialists in cooperation with the business as to where we need to de-emphasize some areas of coverage as we focus effort on the core. | Blah, blah, blah. Everything's gonna be in Bangalore. Boxes are available in the supply closet: We will be counting desktop mice, so don't even try it. |
| Thank you for your patience during this time, and, most importantly, thank you for continuing to deliver such a sparkling journalism in what has been a difficult environment. | Please don't cry in your cubicle. There are more than enough stalls in the restrooms for you to express yourself. |
Reuters cost cuts to affect 100 editorial jobs. [Reuters]
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