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Hollywood PrivacyWatch sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let Nicole Kidman know you find it strange that she never eats her asparagus.

In today's super-sized, picture-enhanced episode: Jude Law and Natalie Portman at the Chateau; Kate Winslet grocery shopping; Arnold Schwarzenegger sneaking into the Casa del Mar; Blythe Danner and Cherly Tiegs eating; Edward Norton parking; Marcia Gay Harden jogging; Bonnie Raitt; Liza Minelli, Pierce Brosnan, and Jeffrey Katzenberg power-dining at Morton's; Liza (again), Parker Posey, and Chris Kattan (seen twice!); Larry King; Debra Messing, Carson Kressley, Marica Cross, Traci Lords, and Elvira; Jamie Lee Curtis; Amanda Peet; Michael Vartan; Chris O'Donnell; Benjamin McKenzie; Liz Phair; Nelly Furtado; Jorja Fox; Topher Grace (x2); Danny Masterson (x2); Margaret Cho; Stephen Dorff and Chris Kattan; Shannyn Sossaman and Nicole Richie; Schuyler Fisk; Brandon "Mr. Mischa Barton" Davis; Joey "Surprisingly Still Alive" Lawrence; the Miz.

· met some friends at the chateau marmont on 11/22 for a drink and spied jude law and natalie portman lounging with some other people. julia roberts and clive owen were staring at them jealously from the corner. just kidding. jude law, in a suit with tussled hair, was looking a bit *over this scene.* natalie was um... how to say... hot. they hung for a while and then both left, separately, when some drunk people got on the piano and started wailing "lean on me." then we took their seats.

· ever the hotspot for celeb grocery shopping, whole foods surprised me once again by showcasing who i wholeheartedly believe to have been kate winslet shopping on a rainy sunday with her baby. if it was indeed kate (in a leather jacket with baby strapped across her chest, speaking in a british accent), she is absolutely gorgeous.

· Friday afternoon (12/3) I was in LA, staying at the Casa del Mar, when I see someone with major security personnel getting through the side "VIP" door. It was none other than the Governator: huffled Arnold Schwarzenegger. He is surprisingly short - maybe 5'5". I was curious as to what he was doing there at 5pm, as there didn't seem to be any public event going on and he wasn't headed to the lobby bar. Then that night at Buffalo Club I saw Blythe Danner and Cheryl Tiegs (not together). They both looked beautiful, but that entire restaurant is lit by, like, two candles. Everyone looks good.

· 12/05/04, 3:35 pm - edward norton just parked his car in front of our ebay selling place on beverly and detroit st. to walk to what we thought was starbucks but he kept going so i guess it's the pastry shop next door. we're across the street from lulu's cafe where jason schwartzman was seen last weekend so i guess this is a nice place to people watch. he has a nice black beamer 330 with license plate number [redacted]. ahahaha. dont actually print that i'm just being stupid. it's raining hard. he's wearing a fuzzy hood. he's with a not-so-pretty blonde in a grey sweat suit. we actually just walked across the street to go into starbucks and he walked by us and checked out my friend as his lady friend was looking away. cute.

· Friday at about 5pm whe're walking down the boardwalk in Santa Monica and who jogs by but Marcia Gay Harden. She looked as surpised to be jogging as we were to see her jogging. In a puffy white jacket with yoga pants, chomping on her gum, she seemed truly displeased with the whole idea, like jogging was some kind of punishment. Which it basically is, so it made us like her

· At Urth on Melrose (of course) today (12/2), Bonnie Raitt looking trim and happy but jeez, the clothes! Hippy meets Vegan meets Wal-Mart. Purse was pleather. Shirt was teal green with black pants. Hair...well hair was really, really red...except for the firebreak of grey...err blonde...throughout. Really, I like her but she looks like any housewife from the 909.

At Morton's today (12/2) a trio of big names. Liza Minelli looking fit and rested. Don't know who she was with. Make-up was not excessive. Plastic surgery quite evident but looked good. Shedding 150 lbs of her ex-husband did wonders. Pierce Brosnan with little Jeffrey Katzenberg. Pierce, sigh. So damned hunky. Jeffrey just disappears. Of course in true Morton's style, all were seated up front and discussing "business".

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· Who other than LIZA (with a Z) Minnelli spotted at the dragtastic Christmas show of Jackie Beat @ Casito Del Campo's little basement stage in Silverlake. In tow with Liza...Parker Posey and Chris Kattan. The queens (drag and other -wise) couldn't have been more pleased. Liza even gave Jackie Beat a solo standing ovation. Also spotted, but not with the Liza party - messy Alexis Arquette..

· Thursday - an ambulatory Larry King (aka Skeletor) trying on pants on the 4th floor mens dept. of Barney's NY. he's about 8 ft. tall standing up. there was no walker or assistive device in sight.

Saturday - went to check out the now-thin Jackie Beat at Casito del Campo in Silverlake when who should appear? only a fag's dream come true... Liza (with a 'Z')! and Parker Posey. Liza was gracious, shaking hands and smiling for gays with cell phone cameras. i kept thinking 'that's odd, David Gest would be right in his element here. if only it had lasted between those two.' Divorce is always hardest on the children.

· At the Trevor Project benefit at the Wiltern LG: Debra Messing sending a male assistant to fetch her a Scotch before her bit with Megan Mullaly; a swarm of young gay men having their photo taken with Carson Kressley from Queer Eye; Marcia Cross escaped from Wisteria Lane and none other than Traci Lords in civilian clothes asking for a "not-too-strong" and "extra frothy" martini. Also seen were an actress from Mad TV, Elvira and drag-queen legend, big "Mama".

·Sighting: Friday evening, 5 p.m., on Sunset Boulevard in Pacific Palisades, Jamie Lee Curtis entering Jiva Yoga studio. She was dressed in black sweatshirt and tights, and with short gray/black hair, (not the Orthodox Jewish wig she wore in Christmas with the Kranks,) she looked haggard, old and bloke-ish.

· Saw Amanda Peet at Barney's this afternoon looking like she was overcome deciding what to buy.

· ...saw Michael Vartan working his way through a large bucket at the Studio City driving range. Surprised to note that he's got a pretty solid swing. Although I was busy firing pin-seeking darts at the 125-yard elevated green, working on an easy three-quarter 8-iron knockdown, I did notice his biggest problem: he needs to keep his head still. As he takes the club away, his head rotates to the right more than it needs to. If he keeps it still, he'll be able to maintain his spine angle, and avoid the slight reverse pivot that probably keeps him from more consistent shotmaking. He had on a red t-shirt.

· Flew into LAX from Tampa Monday night on Delta Song (Delta's low-rent carrier) with Chris O'Donnell & his family. I'm not sure who was who, there were a couple blond chicks, lots of blond kids, a blond dude and a tall guy (who I found out is his brother). My first thought was it was the Kennedy clan coming back from Kennebunkport (or however the hell you spell it.) Everybody was all Gap'd out wearing khakis, blazers, and lovely sweaters, except for Chris. He was wearing a red cap (with his khakis and blue button down). I'm not sure if that was his idea of incognito or if he was just trying to rebel against the rest of the brood.

Anyway, whilst waiting for my bag, I went outside to catch a quick smoke. When I was satisfied with my nicotine intake, I tried to get back in and dammit, the door only opens from inside. I stood there and the first person to walk by the door was Mr. O'Donnell. Politely I banged on the door. He looked up and kept on walking. So I banged louder and pointed up and made gestures with my hands which clearly said "I can't get back in." He hesitated, rolled his eyes a bit, came back, stood on the mysterious special place that opened the door and started to walk away. I said "Thanks man...I didn't know that it wouldn't open from..." but before I could say anything more he just walked away shaking his head. So now I don't like him anymore and I'm going to tell all my friends he's gay.

· Saw Benjamin McKenzie ('Ryan' from The O.C.) Sunday evening at a certain health food store (not WF) in Santa Monica. He's very good looking- nice skin, nice smile. He's kind of short (who cares?!). He was casually yummy in a black hooded sweatshirt, dark jeans, and plain black leather shoes or boots. He's very thin from the waist down (bird legs) Waist up, couldn't tell because of the bulk of his shirt. He answered his cell inside the store but only talked for about 10 seconds. Overall, seemed like a very pleasant, happy guy. He was accompanied by a skinny, pale, dark-haired female, who was dressed smartly (NY style - long black coat) for the cold and rainy weather. She was cute enough, but not your typical LA insecure hot chick. They were not lovey-dovey at all, which leads me to think that she's just a friend, a long-time GF, or his sister.

· Saw Liz Phair working out at the Spectrum in Manhattan Beach - on the row machine.

· Last night I pulled in three sightings within a few blocks in Beverly Hills. First off was songstress Nelly Furtado and hubby (?? im assuming ??) in front of supermarket chic Bristol Farms walking a tiny dog that stopped to sniff another's ass. How cute. Ms. Furtado is not as pipsqueaky as I had assumed and was decked out in a fur lined white track suit while her other half looked kinda Members Only-blah. Further down the street, a inconspicuous Molly Shannon stood on a corner (bills getting too high, Ms. Molly?) and further up the block was flute-loving Alyson Hannigan driving a shiny new BMW...while picking her nose.

· My friend and I sat next to Jorja Fox while dining at Eagle "Silverlake-in-Training" Rock vegetarian eatery Fatty's at about 2pm on Sunday. (which makes sense since Jorja is a well-known vegetarian.) She was with a female, Punky Brewster looking non-famous friend. Jorja wasn't wearing makeup, looking pretty, but very normal. She was dressed in a khaki sweater, black tshirt and jeans, Tall and very skinny in a non-anorexic, super metabolism way. She had a very lovely conversation with the owner, but looked very nervous and self-conscious, she clearly knew everyone in the restaurant knew who she was and was looking at her- i felt bad for her. Best of all, she ate a nice, big plate of real food- something hearty with eggs. Overall, she seemed very normal, friendly, and down to earth.

· That 70s guy Topher Grace was at Cobras and Matadors in Los Feliz last night with an unidentifiable male companion. Looked cute in person, very animated.

· Wed. night at 8:30pm Topher Grace was at Rite Aid on Sunset/Fairfax buying Kellogg's Raisin Bran (stars need to stay regular, too) and Swiss brand milk. He had on jeans, sneakers, a shirt and suit jacket and looked pretty good. After paying for his stuff he walked out towards Sunset, not the parking lot behind the store, which leads me to believe that him or someone he was visiting lives pretty close and he walked over.

· Spotted "That Guy from That 70's show" Danny Masterson at El Carmen on Saturday. Aside from wearing a trucker cap and loitering at the server station, he did nothing of note, though it figures that spending two hours at Dolce would get me nothing more than tourists and valley ex-pats, but venturing into a bar I actually like will find me dodging sitcom weasels...

· Was in L.A. for the weekend. Saw Danny Masterson walking alone in the parking lot across the street from Avalon. Saw Mark from Road Rules at Mel's Diner (3AM). He had his cap pulled all the way so not to be recognized. Does he even qualify as a celebrity? Saw Margaret Cho at the West Hollywood Target. She gave me a dirty look for recognizing her voice. I'm not a fan to begin with. Relax Margaret!!!

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· Yesterday in Venice Beach I spotted the 5' 3" tops, Steven Dorff breaking major Celebrity rules . The first being photographed at Britney Spears smoothie store she bought for hew degenerate alcoholic father. (It is the time for giving) Secondly wearing a trucker hat, Dorffman please listen to your assistant/stylist/goatee groomer get yourself a scarf or a slogan tee quick. Maybe he was just sulking the fact he was passed over for Blade 3 or maybe he was just looking for new undiscovered talent to take up to the Nolte compound. Later that day I saw Chris Kattan going into M Sasser's "salon" near Santa Monica on Lincoln, I figured him to be more discreet but hey apparently he likes the hot towel and tug like the rest of us common folk. I had always heard he preferred the Turkish baths. oh well.

· This Friday night at Arclight was milling around the lobby and noticed a homeless-looking woman walk in from behind: picture cheap Wal-Mart moccasins with no socks (on a cold night!), an ugly pink hoodie with the hood pulled over her unkempt hair and a ratty looking overcoat to top it all off. Only when she turned around did I realize it was Shannyn Sossamon, who appears to be trying hard to be thisclose to being a crazy bag lady (naming your child "Audio Science" helps, I suppose). Several people behind in her in the ticket line (and not in the same party) was Nicole Richie, who, by comparison, looked the standard-bearer of fashion and classiness.

·Monday evening at Gelson's in Pacific Palisades, Sissy Spacek's daughter. Schuyler Fisk, yakking on her her cell phone, discussing her dinner menu while obsessively rubbing the handle of her shopping cart with the antibacterial wipes the store provides— wipe after wipe after wipe while she holds up the line.

· Well, just as I began to believe that my b-list sighting days were over, I had a major redemptive effort today in Beverly Hills. I was getting out of my car at the Neiman Marcus valet stand when I spotted who else but 'Mr. Gross' himself, Brandon Davis (Some might only know him as Mischa's boyfriend, but she was nowhere in sight). I found this sighting surprising, because today was the start of the NM big sale- so is he bargain hunting with the plebes? I have seen him a number of times in person, and I couldn't help but feel shocked at just how greasy and waterlogged he looked today. I think that over the past few years he's put on between 15-20 lbs, which would be fine, but seriously, if he's really an heir to such a vast fortune, can't he afford a good clarifying shampoo? I really think that instead of investing in more of those clever "Fuck Prada" t-shirts, he should wheel his swollen ass over to the beauty supply store. He was in the passenger seat of his G-Wagon, and there was a big fat bald guy driving (at first I thought it was his brother, but once I got a closer look, it was no one recognizable). If he has a bodyguard, I might lose it.

·WHOA Joey Lawrence seen alive, in 14 Karats, that jewelry store. My sidekick was in the car charging, so alas no picture. I'm a failure, defamer.

· Saw Mike "The Miz" from the real world, and various real world/road rules challenges, etc, at LAX on Friday morning. He was wearing some sort of jacket & jeans combo, with an ugly man-necklace.