Monday Morning Box Office: Nic Cage Still On Top
Awaken from your three-day turkey coma and head towards the light of the weekend box office numbers. (These are three-day weekend estimates, not super-sized five-day grosses.)
1. National Treasure — $33.1 million
Nic Cage is back—all the way back, baby. Now he's determined to make sure this comeback sticks, ushering in a new age of 80s-style decadence. He's probably at Skybar right now, covered in hookers, and bragging about how he's going to single-handedly revive the Three Men and a Baby franchise.
2. The Incredibles — $24.1 million
The Incredibles continues to roll up impressive box office figures, owing to its position as an animated movie that even adults can enjoy. The last time we enjoyed an animated movie, it was an anime porn version of Voltron, where the heroes' costumes (why were they fighting in schoolgirl outfits?) kept getting blown off every time they got out of their mechanized lions to fight a giant breast-octopus with dildos on the end of its tentacles.
3. Christmas With the Kranks — $22.7 million
Tim Allen. Jamie Lee Curtis. In an adaptation of a John Grisham novel. That's kind of like going for a Brazilian ball-waxing and discovering the salon is all out of wax—and substituting sandpaper and Krazy Glue.
4. The Polar Express — $20.1 million
At this rate, The Polar Express will finally fulfill its promise as an "instant holiday classic" in time for the first Christmas on the moon.
5. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie —$17.8 million
Still confused by a movie that might actually turn a profit during its theatrical release, Paramount has hired an army of temps to shovel cash into a furnace around the clock.
