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The LA Weekly's Nikki Finke generously awards herself an honorary "Eisner' ("you get a prick with brass balls") for earning a mention in The Hollywood Trial of the Century when an article she wrote about the tensions between Michael Eisner and Michael Ovitz started to leak out into the press turned up as evidence. Finke recounts the plaintiff's lawyer's mention of her piece:

Eisner (looking puzzled): What was the second thing you said?

Schulman: "From Sorcerer to Schmo." S-C-H-M-O. An article in The New York Observer that was presented to you on direct.

Eisner (his voice barely above a whisper): I recall that, yes.*

Content that she's poked a finger in Eisner's eye years after the article's publication, Finke rips Variety's Peter Bart a new one for soft-peddling the two-Mike feud—and this is where she may have actually earned her award:

Back when reports first surfaced about the battling Bickersons, Bart light-weighed in with an emotional column claiming the two Mikes were still on their honeymoon. Bart occupied an unusual position during this Disney crisis; he was both Eisner’s and Ovitz’s buttboy. (Which is why Bart’s recent Ovitz bashing is as hilarious as it is pathetic. Bart spent years ass-kissing Ovitz.)

If Bart was indeed both Ovitz's and Eisner's "buttboy." he may already have had that "new one" well before Finke ripped it for him. She'd better not open any mail with a big, green "V' on it for awhile.

[*Ed. note—Item corrected. We originally misattributed Finke's line, "They hate me. They really hate me." to Michael Eisner. The apppropriate parties have been beaten, etc etc.]