Thank God we're not REAL reporters, or else we'd have to endure the Paris Review party last week at Downtown Cipriani. Then again, we could just get drunk on mimosas and hang out with Page Six's Paula Froelich, who seems to be an honest lady when it comes to her take on the party:

"The most pretentious thing I ve ever been through in my life," she said. "I would say not boring because I actually had a great time, especially when John Guare was ripped off the stage by cancan dancers after describing the habitat of the Hadada living on a telephone in Ghana, after having been extinct but it s not his favorite bird. His favorite bird is the egret. After that I just dived into my drink."

Ms. Froelich cackled.

"[...] I was there for Peter Matthiessen but the best thing about his speech was looking around at all the Carole King lookalikes who obviously had wet their pants and I expected about five of them to burst into put up a parking lot! And their nipples, you could tell they were hard. Huge!""

When reached for comment, Froelich replied, "I take offense to the word 'cackled.' I have a full-bellied laugh."
Paris Revue [Observer (2nd item)]