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A reader, concerned that a certain mass-impaired A-list actress might seriously injure herself while partaking in a vigorous exercise fad, sends us this note in hopes that the celeb might take her cardio program down a notch:

I went to spinning class on Sunday at Body and Soul in WeHo, and was taken aback when I heard my instructor politely ask a new student what her name was (this instructor is not known for being polite).

The softest voice that I have ever heard in my life responded with "Nicole". I turned around to see who could possibly produce something so quiet, and was shocked to see Nicole "Bag of Bones" Kidman sitting on a bike a few rows behind me. Hello. The woman should not be doing any physical activity whatsoever, let alone brutal cardio. Can somebody please put her on bed rest? And while we're at it, please tell everyone it's really obnoxious to pretend to not know Nicole Kidman's name. She snuck out before class ended, lest she have to introduce herself to someone else.

At the very least, a sympathetic spinner should've followed Kidman out to the juice bar and bought her a half-dozen protein shakes before her bones disintegrated. Perhaps someone will get around to it at next Sunday's class.