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The LAT is the latest publication to take note of NBC's ratings collapse and take a swipe at the King Peacock himself, Jeff Zucker. A somewhat chastened Zucker is surprisingly candid about his network's recent fanny-paddling at the hands of his rivals:

"We've gotten spanked," Zucker said, referring particularly to the blows delivered by two new hit shows: ABC's Desperate Housewives and CBS' CSI: NY.

"I'm not in denial," said Zucker, president of NBC Universal Television Group. "We've got issues."

But he predicted that the competition would make NBC stronger. "We're in a dogfight, and dogfights make you hungrier."

We're pretty sure that Zucker meant to reach for the meatier "cockfight" metaphor. We hear he's been taking those special "male potency" pills in preparation for a showdown with Chief CBS Cocksmith Les Moonves; if the herbal solution doesn't improve his chances, the victory-hungry Zucker may have to consider back-alley surgery to counteract Moonves' natural advantage.