If you need some legal defense (and if you're the readers we think you are, you just might), allow us to make a recommendation: check out Alan Lewis, the defense attorney for Isais Umali. Umali is being tried for the murder of Dana Blake, a bouncer from the East Village nightclub Guernica; Umali stabbed Blake after his friends were removed from the club for smoking.

So what makes Alan Lewis the perfect counsel? His cutting-edge defense tactic: write off Umali's violent reaction to the enforced smoking ban as "heroic." Genius. What's more heroic than causing a little bloodshed in order to protect our freedom to pursue worldly vices? Once we get busted for that Thai prostitution ring and part-time heroin cartel we're running, this Lewis dude is so totally hired.
The "Killing The Bouncer That Told My Friend To Stop Smoking Was Heroic" Defense [Gothamist]