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While the Boston Globe's Alex Beam's one-night stay in the Britney Spears Foundation Room at Beantown's Onyx Hotel certainly sounded like a subpar hospitality-industry experience, he may have surrendered himself to Britney-smearing fervor a tad too fully in describing the room as the "fourth circle of Hell." Indeed, the failure of the room's audio-visual amenities left him with no entertainment options other than a Spears DVD, and that's not exactly our cup of tea, either. Yes, the room's "decorated by a syphilitic whore in a gold Rush mining town" aesthetic certainly didn't allow him to achieve comfort in his surroundings, and the minibar Cheetos offered no prospects for gastronomical relief for his otherwise affronted sensibilities. But unless Beam found himself repeatedly roused from sleep by a man in a color-coordinated, velour "Pimp" tracksuit attempting a forced impregnation by his demonically efficacious, background-dancing seed, perhaps he should refrain from the Alighierian hyperbole. Beam clearly has no idea what Hell is like.