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Last night, with a wallet full of Action Jacksons, free admission coupons ripped from the pages of L Magazine, the lure of happy hour and the promise of a complimentary buffet (which was either a lie or somewhere in a $600/hour private dance room upstairs) we ventured to the wily west of 51st Street and 12th Avenue where Larry Flynt opened a Hustler Club — sort of a Disney-fied Runway 69, for those of you who can recall the good old Forty Deuce days.

Short-lived and admittedly not always spirited, this was to be our grand finale in the daily 5X5 Interview series. We were determined to go out with bangs and strippers. To the tune of $160, 5 lap dances and 6 $10 Budweisers, we "interviewed" ladies from all corners of the globe, Santa Cruz to Romania. We were fearless Admiral Byrds in a trek to the West Pole. Take a peep after the jump.

Lara, Barcelona
Hi, what's your name?
 Lata.
Is that Russian?
 No, La-RA! I'm from Barthalona.
Oh I speak some Spanish, I spent some time in South America.
 That's nice, I've never been.
How long have you lived here?
 Two years.
Are you here for good?
 No no. I love Spain too much and my family is there.
Do you dance in Spain?
 Yes, but not like this.

Lillian, Iceland
Hi, where are you from?
 Iceland.
How long have you lived here?
 Two years.
So, it must be tough living through 6 months of no sunlight.
 It's different.
Mentally, damn, I think I'd go crazy. I probably would have to drink everyday, meditate or something.
 Shhh, you enjoy dance.

Jade, Japan
Well hello to you too, what's your name?
 I am Jade.
Ohh, that's exotic. Where are you from?
 Japan.
My friend here is marrying a Korean girl next week. They're the enemy, right? You better not touch him.
 (blank stare)
How long have you lived here?
 One year.
And how much do you love New York?
 I love it so much!
So tell me, how many of you work the floor?
 Around 40.
Really? I think some are hiding.
 There are private rooms upstairs. Come on, we go, you like.
Maybe later, thanks.


Aspen, Santa Cruz
I'm having a great time, how is your evening?
 Ready to get it going, I just got here 5 minutes ago. Wanna be my first dance, sweetie?
Sure. What's your name?
 Aspen.
For real?
 Well, it's my middle name.
Do you have hippie parents?
 Oh yeah, I'm from Northern California.
All that Humboldt County weed, must have been fun.
 I grew up farther south in Santa Cruz.
You surf?
 Of course!
(Let the record show that I refrained from the "I'm hanging ten" joke here.) Do you surf around here? Maybe the Rockaways?
 No, too dirty and stinky.

Anna, Romania
Hey there, of course you can join me. Wow, you're quite the skinny-minny.
 Thank you! You like my body? I'm very tight.
I bet, you must work out. So what's your name?
 Anna.
I'm detecting an Eastern European aroma, where are you from?
 I come from Romania.
Bucharest?
 Yes! You know geography!
Well, they make us learn in school...
 Are you a writer like your friend?
Uh, kinda-sorta.
 I knew you guys were cool. You guys are so cool! What do you write?
Some small stuff about New York, media, gossip.
 Ohh, Page Six!!
Something like that.
 Can you put me in Page Six??
(in my most serious voice ever) Yes, I can get you in Page Six. Actually, I contribute to a website called Gawker that covers media, gossip, etc.
 I love Gawker!!
What? You know it??
 Yes, I read everyday! I like to read where parties and celebrities are. I read where Paris Hilton goes and then I want to go there. Do you go to fancy parties?
Oh sure, all the time. If I'm not running around downtown with Middle Eastern oil barons, then I'm attending Upper East Side cocktail parties and putting out my cigarette in an ashtray fashioned from George Plimpton's skull.
 You guys are so cool! Do you want a dance?

—Andrew Krucoff and Chris Gage have left the building. They will return next week in some bizarre incarnation that we can only hope involves writing in speedos.