Gawker Exclusive: Paris Hilton's Crippling Metabolic Disorder

We've examined socialite Paris Hilton's sasquatchian feet, but photographic evidence suggests that the more pressing issue is her gargantuam hands. Gawker's resident doctors have diagnosed Paris with acromegaly, a condition in which excess growth hormones result in freakishly large extremities. No word on whether she caught this tragic disorder from pornography partner Rick Salomon.