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Hollywood writer/producer (and as his byline proudly explains, "onetime executive producer of Cheers") Rob Long assesses the State of the GOP goodie bag for the LAT. Let it never be said that Hollywood's "delegates" on the loose at political conventions don't have their priorities straight.

If you're a big company and you throw a party, you must present each guest with some kind of gift, a goodie bag they call it, at the exit. From DaimlerChrysler I received a small bag of trail mix. And from GM, a mini-bottle of water.

Have these people never been to the Golden Globes? Have they never received a shiny sack of sample-size skin unguents, vials of perfume, cellophane-wrapped cookies, a Buena Vista Social Club CD, an expensive watch, a novelty baseball cap, antibacterial wipes and a gift certificate for a 10% discount at a local day spa and massage center?

Republicans, politicians, and lobbyists at our awards shows? Not as long as we have VIP lists and rubber bullets.

If one finds the gift bags lacking, one could do what "two Californians" did in the bathroom of Rudy Giuliani's party at the Grand Havana Room, and improvise some takeaway swag from the contents of a bathroom attendant's tray. Has anyone seen Stephen Baldwin and Ron Silver lately?